It's been a dreary day outside today, which sums up how I feel on the inside. Feelings of inadequacy and failure have creeped all over me today. It's been a few weeks coming that these feelings have been growing, but between laying around all day cause of not feeling the best and the weather, it's quickly overtaken me.
As I sit here there are piles of clean laundry begging to be folded and put away, even more laundry in the hampers needing washed, dishes to be done, floors to be swept and mopped, stuff everywhere....yeah not great. Not to mention it's almost dinner time and nothing has been set out so I'm getting ready to go on the hunt for who knows what to cook for dinner. I could probably go on and on about the thing that need to be done and ways that I feel like a complete failure at this whole mom and wife thing.
I think one of the things that irritates me the most is never feeling like I have enough energy to do anything. To you miracle moms out there that work all day, take care of kids, feed your family and still somehow maintain a clean home all the time...oh and don't forget those pinterest crafts...yeah, please share your secret! There are days that I do get wild hairs and actually accomplish alot, but most days I just feel like I'm barely getting by.
Today, though, in the midst of my sulking, a thought came to mind that - although it hasn't made the messy house and laundry go away - has somewhat put things back into perspective.
No matter how much you feel like you fail and how many inadequacies you see in yourself, as long as you LOVE your kids with all you have and they have that security of a loving family, the rest of that fades away. Your kids will always look up to you and love you more than you could ever realize. You are their hero, whether you think it or not.
Last night I was tucking Adam in bed and as he was laying there he didn't want me to leave and just kept asking for more hugs and kisses. He didn't ask for me to clean his room, or get upset cause his clothes weren't put away...all he cared about was hugs and kisses from his mommy. To know that he is loved and I'm always there for him.
So if you ever feel down and discouraged, I hope this thought will help bring you out of that pit. Our job as moms is to love our family. If you are doing that, you are an amazing mom :)